For those of us who are lucky, age comes easily. But as we get older as adults, we start paying more attention to our parents and how they are feeling. There’s one thing that we notice more than anything else is when they start needing additional help as they move into their senior years. It’s not the easiest thing to witness because the last thing that you want to have to weal with is a parent who feels like they’re no longer independent.

It can lead to a lot of anxiety, a lot of grief and a lot of rage. And if you are somebody who is visiting your parents often, you may become the receiving end of all of that. There are so many things that can affect your parents’ lifestyle as they get older. Anything from a recent medical diagnosis to managing multiple health conditions can be very difficult for them to cope with learning how to recognize the signs of requiring help is important for them and for you. 

Once you recognize the signs of them needing help, they may end up needing additional support, finding dementia care at home, or going to more doctor’s appointments, or just generally needing your extra pair of hands during the day. Not all senior parents start to lose their marbles, but it’s important to know what to look for so that you can be on hand. Let’s take a look at some of the signs that your elderly parents need your support.

1. Poor hygiene. If you see your parents sporadically and not as often as you would like, you’re going to notice poor hygiene quicker than if you saw them every single day. You may notice they’re not showering, brushing their teeth or doing their laundry anymore, and they may have also given up on an appearance where previously they would have put a lot of effort into themselves. If their clothing is dirty or torn, or their hair is in disarray, you’re going to spot that early.
2. Their home is messy or disorganized. If you’ve always known your parents to be house proud, and then you find that it’s starting to slip. Then it’s going to set off alarm bells, and for a good reason. Piled up dishes in the sink or clothes scattered around the house may not be their normal, so you have to figure out why their home is so messy and what’s happening as they can’t keep up with it themselves. Perhaps they’re just moving slower than usual, or becoming more forgetful about what they need to do to keep their home looking good. Being able to outsource this to cleaners is important, and if they have any budget in a care fund, it would be a good idea to pay for it with that.
3. The house is falling apart. Aside from needing a good clean, if there are some handyman jobs that are being left with nobody fixing them, then it may be a good idea to speak to some additional support systems to get that help. Tangled wires, broken appliances and expired fire extinguishers can all pose a threat to life.
4. They are unable to manage their money. If your mum or dad is forgetting to pay their bills on time, or they’re receiving late payment notices, or they are bouncing checks, it is important to make sure that they are cognitive enough to be able to handle their finances. They may need additional support in the form of a carer or in the form of you to take over their financial management.
5. They no longer use their car. A surefire sign that your elderly parents need more support is that they no longer trust themselves to drive their car that they may have been driving for 30 odd years. Maybe they’re forgetting to take their car to the mechanic when it needs a fix, or perhaps they’ve forgotten how to drive entirely. You can ensure that either they have additional support to get where they need to go, or you scrap their car for them and put their money into savings.
6. They’re becoming more forgetful. Medications go unused, prescriptions go unfilled and doctors appointments are skipped. If your parents are finding themselves confused when they’re doing routine tasks that they’ve always done, this should set off alarm bells that you need to get them in to speak to a doctor as soon as possible.

It’s never easy to notice that your parents need more support because it feels like you’re swapping roles, but it’s a privilege to be able to look after them if you have the chance.